Letra de Frodo Baggins vs. Ancient Egyptians - Freshy Kanal

(Feat. Psytube, Mix Williams, Bblackroses, Snakebite126, ManchaUBER, LittleFlecks, Freeced)

Part I

A long time ago, Frodo Baggins slowly trotted across the Sahara as the sand wove its glistening waves over the barren landscape. He'd intended to rid himself of the one ring by hurling it inside the volcano, but on the way, a thought had struck his mind: the Egyptians had invented the ring, so he believed. And so he devised a plan: he would bargain the ring back to where it originally, originally came from, in hopes that someone would dare to carry his burden. He first came across King Ramses II, who didn't seem too pleased about Frodo's presence...

Who dares look upon King Ramses during his daily rapping study?

Oh I just wanted to inquire about, uh-

SHUT THE FUCK UP, you peasant!

Beat me in a rap battle first and only if you win, I may hear you out, should you be worth my time...

Nobody as great came before me (Glory!)

But I should call you Ra, because you bore me (Snoring!)

Like my farmers, you'll be begging me for more beef (Corny!)

Take my chariot warriors and crush your hairy ass horse feet

You trample in my temple? To my land, my reign is central

You got three dwarves, a grandpa and you act like the Avengers Assembled

I'll make your throat burn like a roasted Adam's apple

I expand land on my camels, you fall off the fucking saddle

Yes, I battled in Kadesh and now I'll kill you in your cottage

Then I'll take your little hobbits and I'll send them to the prophets

You better know where your God is before my plagues hit your poor lord

I leave more doors crossed while you're crossing to Mordor

Excuse me, your rhythm is so damn off

You're late on this track, call you Gandalf

Man, let's be real, all your people are hungry

I got the fam in the back, you got a famine in your country

It's Frodo going solo on this bozo, you got no hope

Don't go toe-to-hairy-toe with this smoke-toting GOAT, though

I'll call you your farmers, 'cuz you got no hoes, no joke, I'm the pro when I roast foes

I got the know to grow flows, and I'm smoking you loads like when Moses hit you with a 360 no-scope

Your corpse is looking bare, I have something to improve it

You'd like it, Ramses, Its got a nice ring to it

It can take any foe you request out of your way

I don't want your silly ring! Okay...

But I do know somebody who might take your stupid, shitty, no bitches ring. Maybe ask King Tut inside that weird triangle thing in the desert...

Part II

And so Frodo took his stupid, little, shitty, no bitches ring to the weird triangle thing in the desert. There, he met King Tutankhamun, who didn't seem too pleased about Frodo's presence...

Brrat, brrat, brrat!

It's the return of the King Tut

Preserved from the crown down to deez nuts

Don't try to stroll into Giza

I'll split you in half like a tree trunk

I slaughter every archaeologist who wanders and pops open my sarcophagus

Even in death, you won't meet one as fresh as Tutankhamen is

At eight years old, they crowned me on the top of Heliopolis

And I was still standing taller than this Hobbit did

In my empire, I've never seen such a wacky face

Even my harem would agree that you have no game

You'd piss yourself before you'd ask out babes

My palm trees are the only place you'd grasp a date

I'm stuck inside a museum but I'm running the aisles

And now this little peasant is here crossing my style?

How was your pathetic past, you motherless child?

Your parents drowned in a river, but now you're stuck in denial

Do I really got to destroy this failure?

His speeches were so shit they wrapped him in toilet paper

I'm surprised you even remain intact

You're filled with more preservatives than a Big Mac

Your life has mattered? Your spine got fractured

Fuck Cairo, you need a chiropractor

You set up those traps? Well, clearly I made it

Who let the Home Alone kid on the Grave Shift?

Your country took a whiny kid and placed him off the highest cliff

But then he died at nineteen, dipped, forgotten with your time and scripts

Barely inscribed in hieroglyphs, I'll scrap you like the Bible did

Only inside our minds to live, because they found your tiny crypt

There's no human stopping me

You got so much gas, you're tooting commonly

Anyway, I wanna sell you this ring, bruh

I don't want your silly ring! FUCK!

But I do know somebody who will be born in a couple centuries after me who might take your cringe-ass nae-nae ring, living inside that- that weird shack across the river...

Part III

And so after thirteen centuries, Frodo arrived with his cringe-ass nae-nae ring at the weird shack across the river. There, he met Queen Cleopatra, who didn't seem too pleased about Frodo's presence...

Tryna touch my crown? You can't boss me (Uh-huh)

So you better bow down like these palm leaves (Uh-huh)

I put fools in their tombs, don't get cocky (Uh-huh)

Unlike you and your jewels, I can drop heat (Oh)

I got kidnapped in a bedsack

You're so boring, you make kids nap in a bedsack

Make every guy kneel when I make noise with my bars

My milk bath brings all the boys to the yard (Let's go)

Try to hold your composure when all the Romans come over

I got a whole league of soldiers, you got a hole in your shoulder

Now I'm opposing this ogre, you're getting smoked 'til your toes hurt

So just keep loathing your own worth. So soft this froyo's a gogurt

Got loafs, but ain't got Fro-dough in your pockets (Yuh)

Lost your bro only to get trolled by that Gollum (Uh)

Save your jokes, you can never cope with your problems (Yo)

Your finger goes like this battle roast, bitch you lost it!

I lost it? Please! You asked your brother to marry ya (Eugh)

Kept that bedroom in sweet home Alexandria

Who let Squidward near the eye shadow?

All your marriages fell apart like the Sphynx, ha, got your nose!

You're weak, Cle - you keep stealing from Caesar's salary

I got beef, you just eat Caesar's celery

You turned everybody around you into a snake

It's no surprise that's what made you slither into your grave!

Now I shall be the sixth man who offers you a ring

But this time it's not for love, just for the bling

I know your hand is full, so I guess you gotta cram it

I don't want your silly ring! GOD DAMMIT!

Part IV

And so Frodo Baggins wandered into the desert once more, but it was too much; after thirteen centuries of no food, the weak-ass pussy finally kicked the Hobbit-sized bucket, but something unexpected happened; instead of wandering into the afterlife, he was visited by the God of the dead, Anubis...

Ayo, Frodo Baggins...

What?

I'm gonna grant you your greatest desire, taking the ring...

Oh...

AND I'm gonna bring you back to the living world...

Uh-huh...

Under one condition:

You gotta defeat me in a rap battle...

No, no, no, please not another one!

Yuh...

No, no!

Don't duel with Anubis

These puny endeavours are fruitless

The humans may foolishly count me as ruthless

The truth is, when I see the cruelness in you

I choose not to excuse it

Selling the ring, I can see what you're doing

Deep down, you're scared that your heart will abuse it

Let's clear the confusion, like statues in the room with Tutan

I'll leave you in ruins

I read hieroglyphs, but I still can't decipher

How you'd brawl with the embalmer

You got wrapped up by a spider

Depended on your friendships

Ever since you left The Shire

Yeah, he bails you outta fights

But with Sam, you're none the wiser

I'm not the type of dude to say, "Off with his head!"

Feed him to the dog with a croc for a head

Look, even Sauron watches with dread

Scared of the terror his coffin begets and your followers left

Cynopolis still kneels down to me

Since the dawn of my myth spawned

Tied my name to the grave 'cuz they know

The God of the dead still lives on

This is bloody unfair!

If you have any decency whatsoever, you will summon my friends to help me!

I shall accept those terms...

What have you done to Master Frodo?

Yo, this is a 1v1, dawg...

RAP!

Frodo! Oh no...

You must make this right, Sam

Get the will to fight and then

You'll strike Osiris' hype man

That's my plan, sure to

Shorten your afterlife span

Like your uncle did your father

I'll be killing the mic (Damn!)

You're the worst god in Egypt since Creep Switch

Your tale got ripped by the Greeks, that's a reprint

Had a cult of believers, deceived, then

The Middle East left for Jesus, that's a repent

Who switched the lookup? Anubis!

Ditched your lover for your mama, a new bitch!

I go hamly, spit sick like gangrene

Who killed your family? It's the Gamgee!

A righteous heart that's filled with anger

I know the pain that death brings...

To ensure there comes no danger

I'll take up this goddamn ring!

Fucking finally

Now Frodo will not die in vain

I beg of you, Anubis

Please bring Frodo back to life again!

Sam?

Master Frodo! You've come back again like Gandalf!

He did WHAT?!

Did somebody say Gandalf?

YOU SHALL NOT PASS DEATH TWICE!!

And they all lived happily ever after. ...Except Sam. He died

¿Te encanta la letra de Frodo Baggins vs. Ancient Egyptians? ¡Compártela con tus amigos!